Normalcy in Moderation

“To have and to hold and to keep your beer Cold” I...

Sun, 12 May 2013 17:20:42 -0700

“To have and to hold and to keep your beer Cold”
I hope someday I’m awesome enough to marry a woman who value cold beer as much as I do.

Well folks, it appears I’ve been upgraded. Thanks...

Thu, 09 May 2013 20:22:23 -0700

Well folks, it appears I’ve been upgraded. Thanks @cierra_lynn and @bigyoshi #teamfabrigasrocks #nodoubt

23 years ago today, the world changed. #loonthedayiwasborn...

Wed, 08 May 2013 09:01:02 -0700

23 years ago today, the world changed. #loonthedayiwasborn #nursesallgatheredround

May the Fourth be with you today #maythefourth #sacredday...

Sat, 04 May 2013 12:48:39 -0700

May the Fourth be with you today #maythefourth #sacredday #jediholiday #nerdstuff

“We’re at bingo fuel Sir.” “Correction...

Fri, 03 May 2013 20:33:59 -0700

“We’re at bingo fuel Sir.”
“Correction Lieutenant: we’re Never at bingo fuel.” #bacardigold #almost glitterslikegold

@double_a_ron707 is out of commission for a few days. #damnphone...

Wed, 01 May 2013 21:38:30 -0700

@double_a_ron707 is out of commission for a few days. #damnphone is gonna have a #.357 hole in it.

The boys and I ran aground out back. #landho #partyboat...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 22:04:50 -0700

The boys and I ran aground out back. #landho #partyboat #vacavilledusk

Nightmares all night last night. Luckily I had these lovelies...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 10:13:53 -0700

Nightmares all night last night. Luckily I had these lovelies here to protect me.

Bad grammar. Personal.

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 10:01:12 -0700

I met a girl recently. I was immediately stricken by her exuberance and her zest for life. She was beautiful and graceful, always moving deliberately with strength and purpose. When I got home in the darkest hours of night, I looked out into the stars and they seemed brighter; the galactic lights swirled about the black spelling her name. The next day everyone at work teased me, asking why I was smiling so much- they had never seen me so happy. I just smiled bigger and continued my work. The next week I saw her again. I asked her out and she said yes. Yes! So we went out and started to learn each other and she told me she thought I was a good friend. I wanted her to be more than a friend, and I knew I needed her to know how I felt. So I told her about the night we met. I told her about the stars and the feelings and the butterflies I got when I knew I was going to see her. I told her that I wanted to be the Man she held hands with when we walked down the street. I told her I wanted to be her beacon of solace in the dim just as she was mine.

She was silent for a minute. Then she became cold.

She told me I was wallowing in darkness and that she would never feel anything more than remorse for me. That until I found the light burning inside of me I could never be a lantern for anyone else. “How can you love anything when you don’t love yourself, Trev?”

Just like that she had taken the book of my soul and opened it to the pages I so easily skimmed over. I just sat silently. So did she. We drank our drinks and enjoyed our silence for a time. My mind was desperately tried to spew its words, but I stayed my vocal chords and kept my mouth shut.

‘So what if I am a sad soul? So what if I wallow in the darkness? I live in my mind, not you! I try to do what’s right! I pain myself to bring no harm to anything, but guess what? Shit happens! Do I judge you?! NO! NOT EVER! Who are you to tell ME WHO and WHAT I AM?!’

I felt my anger build. The pressure inside my heart was too much. Painfully I uttered “I need to go now.”

Somewhat surprised, she replied “O-oh okay Trev. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just care about you as my friend.” I felt her hand on my shoulder, a squeeze. Looking at my drink, I felt her gazing at me. I took a deep breath, got up and left.

I told you that to tell you this.

I didn’t realize it then, but I do now: I wasn’t angry at her. I was angry with myself. In fact I’ve always been angry with myself. Angry at the choices I made, angry that I didn’t play sports well enough, angry that I was too lazy to do homework in school. I hated that I was always so good at doing just enough to get by. I hated that I so easily said things to people that would hurt them just because I couldn’t get over my own selfish feelings.

I need to let it all go. I used to believe I was just a malignant person who would never make anyone feel loved, but I’m not. I’m a good person with baggage that I don’t need to carry around anymore because those are the things that drag me- and anyone with me- down into the darkness. I want to live without the chains I’ve allowed to hold me down for so long. I want to Love with all of my heart.

Golf at Rancho Solano today. It’s a hurry up to wait kinda...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 15:41:24 -0700

Golf at Rancho Solano today. It’s a hurry up to wait kinda game.

carpr0n: Fill me quickly Starring: Chevrolet Corvette Z06 (by...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 23:22:31 -0700

carpr0n:

Fill me quickly

Starring: Chevrolet Corvette Z06

(by Jeferson Milão)

How’s about a #selfie after work? (at Corvette Express)

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 23:09:16 -0700

How’s about a #selfie after work? (at Corvette Express)

After a great family weekend I’m headed home. This is the...

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 19:55:53 -0700

After a great family weekend I’m headed home. This is the first song that played.

And it goes on my foot anyway. #seasonedshoes #converse...

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 10:38:26 -0700

And it goes on my foot anyway. #seasonedshoes #converse #hightops

I got a backpack with jets - I’m Boba, the Fett…

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 18:59:09 -0700

I got a backpack with jets - I’m Boba, the Fett…

Ouch. #chevrolet #corvette #c5 #Z06

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 18:18:24 -0700

Ouch. #chevrolet #corvette #c5 #Z06

4,3,2,1 I’m letting you go. #benfolds #cologne...

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 00:36:56 -0700

4,3,2,1 I’m letting you go. #benfolds #cologne #waytonormal

See I know my destination but I’m just not there…....

Sun, 03 Mar 2013 12:55:03 -0800

See I know my destination but I’m just not there…. #kanyewest #streetlights #808sandheartbreak

Blue are the life-giving waters taken for granted…...

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:03:00 -0800

Blue are the life-giving waters taken for granted… #jimihendrix #boldaslove #soundtrack2mylife

Home again. Fire in the fire pit. #lovetolive #livetolove...

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 00:34:54 -0800

Home again. Fire in the fire pit. #lovetolive #livetolove it’s really all about the little things.